What Are We Without Each Other

I used to be in a relationship.
One, unlike any other I had been in up to that date.

He wanted me to want him. But how could I want him when wanting him left me without what I wanted or needed?

Consideration
Respect
Self-Awareness
Truthfulness

He wanted to be cherished, but not cherish.
He wanted consideration but did not want to give it.
He wanted freedom, but he did not understand that I wanted it also.

The conditions of our relating mattered. For some reason, he did not understand why. And I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t understand.

Was this one-sidedness purposeful?

Because I doubted myself, I loved him for a time.

He was the center of my world. Not me, mind you, but him.

I loved him until I couldn’t.

I began delving into relationships, pulling myself back from that particular codependence. How had I gotten this relationship so wrong? How had we?

The stories we told ourselves were unhealthy ones, designed to keep us separate from ourselves. We thought we were so many things, none of which we actually were. Twin Flames. Soulmates. Incomplete without this other. One half of who we were was housed in each other. Our souls were split. Our souls could only ever be happy when married to each other.

These were all the things we had been taught exist outside of ourselves.

A moment of thought had me asking:

Our souls can be split? With others? Only one another? There is anguish in this separation? There is anguish in separation? A soul without its partner is a soul without its “soul?”

There is no truth in this. Any of this. 

We are home. In ourselves. Our homes are complete.

We can be partners who appreciate each other but do not need each other. Wholeness coupled with wholeness.

Instead of choosing a person, choose what you want. And, if you are consistently clear, this person will show up, not only because they are ready, but because you are.